10 things all high school grads will hear at their graduation party

06/19/15

High school grads are finally enjoying their summer, liberated from the bonds of high school life! College is just around the corner. But first you have to get through those “please, just stop!” things every high school graduate hears over and over again.

1.  You were such a cute baby! What happened? 

2.  One of your family members keeps insisting that your major is “washed up” and “not real.” But you’ll figure it out after a year or two of paying for those fake classes!

3.  Come back and visit, we’ll miss you so much!

Either “OMG who ARE you?!” or “Seriously have been trying not to cry for the last three weeks over leaving you.”  

4.  You totally don’t know that relative, but they just gave you like, $50, so …

Aunt What’s-Her-Face! I love you, too!

5.  How does it feel to be a graduate?

I want to SLEEP. 

6.  Here, let me introduce you to …

Wait, I graduated with you?

7.  We should totally watch High School Musical (or any high school movie).

My head says no, but my heart’s in the song … (in other words, why not?)

8.  What are you planning on doing with that major?

I can’t answer you, I’m stuffing mini-quiches into my mouth!

9.  My roommate’s name is so-and-so and our color scheme is pink and black and we’ve already got our whole lives figured out all the way to the apartment we’re leasing together next year, how about you?

WHAT?! I don’t even have a roommate yet! Are we expected to collaborate on the room? Is she gonna be cool with all of my posters? What about my plant?

10.  You are gonna have so much fun in college. College is awesome!

Hell yeah I am!

About the author

Jennifer JusselJennifer grew up in suburban Austin, Texas and managed to become a balanced mixture of weird, hipster, and nerdy. She recently graduated from high school where she was a cheerleader and participated in band. She is now working at a local animal shelter and serving pancakes to save money before attending Trinity University in the fall to study music composition, psychology, and creative writing.

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