By Unigo
We’re excited to announce the winner of the Unigo Make Me Laugh Scholarship. The question was, “Describe an incident in your life — funny or embarrassing, fact or fiction — and make us laugh!” Check out the winning essay, followed by scholarship tips from our winner.
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Winning scholarship essay
“The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.”
If you’re having trouble imagining what that looks like, think of an orangutan falling down the stairs. Trying to brush its teeth. With a violin.
This quote is one of my favorites, and although I’m not a husband, it is an unfortunately accurate depiction of my love life.
Thick, matted fur draped onto thick, matted arms sporting thick, matted fingers. Especially ill-suited to handle the delicate instrument of a woman’s heart.
Don’t start off a conversation with, “What’s your favorite kind of bread?”
Don’t use pet names like “honeysuckle snapdragon” or “my spicy chalupa.”
She’ll say, “Joe, I feel like you’re using cheap humor to avoid talking about important topics.”
“Your mom uses cheap humor to avoid talking about important topics,” is how you shouldn’t respond.
The most unfortunate thing about this display of bumbling ineptitude is it isn’t being used on women with equal bumbling ineptitude. They are fine women. They will go places in life.
“Joe, I got accepted into UPenn!”
“That’s where Donald Trump went. Please reconsider.” Incorrect.
“Joe, I got into Brown!”
“Hmm, I feel like if a college is named after a color it will be sub-par.” Wrong.
Don’t ask yourself: why would he say these things? Is he an idiot? Why does he know where Donald Trump went to college?
Tell yourself instead, his emotions are too strong to express themselves in conventional ways.
That’s what I do.
Scholarship tips from our winner
How to find scholarships
Finding scholarships requires only looking. At your high schools and colleges, there will be people whose seemingly sole joy in life is to hand you information about scholarships (the limited competitive pool is a nice bonus, too). The internet is (as all of you reading this know) another great resource. Sites like Unigo, Cappex, and many more give you a wide variety of convenient and targeted scholarships, so let those sites send you emails and pick a couple every month or two from your inbox to see through to the end.
How to write a winning scholarship essay
The creative process begins with the prompt. If you see something that gets your blood flowing immediately, don’t wait around for something more boring, jump on it and get your words out there. Happy hunting!