Do I believe in werewolves or vampires? Not really. Zombies, however, are a different story; there’s evidence of them everywhere. You know that brooding math teacher who mumbles under his breath every time someone gives the wrong answer? He’s probably a zombie. What about those suspicious lunch ladies who serve that weird purple goo they claim is gravy? Yeah, they are definitely part of the walking dead. Even our parents show signs of being infected. Don’t believe me? Try getting them to make any sense when you call them at 2 a.m. for a ride. Slurred speech, incoherent language and the dark circles around their eyes – they are totally turning into the undead! Even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is preparing for the zombie apocalypse, so it has to be real. Do yourself a favor and start planning for your survival now.
I’ve run through a few scenarios in my head. For some reason, I always seem to be in the bathroom when the apocalypse hits; guess I just want to have clean shorts when I start running for my life. Anyways, there I am, sitting in the stall when the screaming starts. Since I have a shy bladder, the restroom door has already been locked, so I have some time to decide my next move. I look around, trying to gather anything that might prove beneficial. I take the toilet plunger and break it in half for two make-shift stakes, climb up the stall wall, bust through a ceiling tile, and shimmy into the crawl space above it. From there, I make my way to the cafeteria. The lunch ladies are enjoying their own buffet of juniors and seniors, picking out the more plump students to chow down on. This should distract them long enough for me to grab some water, chips and knives. As I head back into the ceiling's crawl space, I notice a student standing in the middle of the kitchen frozen with fear. She is covered head-to-toe in what I can only assume is the remnants of another student. The undead seem oblivious to her, yet she does not move. I instantly swan dive into a pile of what used to be my gym teacher (I recognize the whistle) and walk right out of the building, down the green, and make a bee-line for my car. Freedom is mine!
Think you have a better plan to survive a zombie apocalypse at your school? Prove it! Submit your creative response to our Zombie Apocalypse Scholarship before October 31 and see if you have what it takes to survive. Any U.S. student, 13 years and older, can apply. If you win, you’ll receive $1,000 for college and possibly save the lives of countless other students. The choice is yours – will you be food or a fighter?
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