If I could go back in time and talk to myself, I would say look to your past and the time you spent with your grandparents. There you will find your direction in life. Growing up I spent many summers with my grandparents attending nature camps and learning how to be a caring and involved member of a community. I have a vivid memory growing up of a story where my grandmother had a garden. Throughout the year canning would be a constant activity in the house and the food would be stored on shelves in the basement. People in the community knew that if they could not afford food for their families they could come to my grandma's house and purchase canned food for pennies on the dollar. Similarily, my grandfather was a Boys and Girls club mentor and sharpened ice skates in his basement for those who could not get theirs sharpened at the local rink. These people shaped who I am today. I would tell myself to look back on those times with them, to allow those time to stear me towards nursing. I would have started snursing so much sooner.
Looking back at the Breanna who never had a clue, I would have to tell her that a world of panic and terror will get her no where. She should not put her goals on hold due to her severe anxiety disorder, because that is just letting it get the best of her. I guess the best advice I would give her is to just be yourself. Do not let anyone hold you back and especially do not let a nuisance like anxiety keep you from following her dreams. I would tell her it will be hard a long the way and many people will tell her that she can not make it, but proving others wrong is what she was born to do. She is a born leader not a follower. She has the power to change the lives of people by making anxiety issues known and being the best oncology nurse. I have learned along the way that my panic attacks have given me more compassion and I know I had them for a reason. That reason being, to make lives better and to not always just care about the Breanna who lives in fear.
I would tell myself not to stress as much as I did. I would say that my case was different than most, I was trying to get recruited for volleyball, so that was my number one priority. If I were to go back and talk to myself, I would say that that doesn't matter. Focus on what makes you happy and not so much on playing sports. I would tell myself to promise my firends that we would stay in touch, because everyone looses their best friends after high school. I would tell myself to spend more time with my family, because it gets hard when your'e all on your own. I would make sure that I realize that high school doesn't mean as much as I thought it did. I would tell myself that all my little problems were insignifigant in the grand scheme of my life. And most of all, I would tell myself to always be happy, even when I wanted to cry.
Amanda now that I've attended college for a semester I know college isn't as scary as I thought it would be. You are going into college next fall and I want you to go in there with strong confidence and a desire to suceed in every class that is put before you. You will get a lot of college pressures, but I want you to stay away from those and focus on your future. The future career and goal that you put out for yourself, which is a Physical Therapist Assistant, is a tough goal. But you aren't like most, you will do your best to acheive that goal and prove to yourself that you can do anything that you put your mind and effort on. Amanda enjoy college while your in it and soak up the sucess you will be earning for yourself.
I would tell myself to go and stick with it. It is a very important time, do not delay, it only gets harder to go back the older you get. It may seem like a lot now, but it will be much harder if you wait and go while juggling work, family and other adult commitments. You are representing yourself so do your best and just keep going do not take a break. The rewards will come after your graduate.